SCAMPER Exercise: A Scene from a Newspaper Story

Playwriting Exercises - CREATIVE CUP OF TEA

After our class about SCAMPER and getting inspired from a newspaper article, Professor Musgrave told us to write a scene based on the story we have found, changing a detail. I wrote about Liam and Lennon Gallagher. I changed the story and made up that Patsy Kensit would be a groupie rather than his ex-wife. In this scene, Lennon and Liam had just met for the first time and Liam brought him to eat something at McDonald’s.

Father and son are eating hamburgers and chips at a McDonald’s in London. They are sitting at a simple table. Liam is wearing a long parka, sunglasses and a baseball hat. He is sprawled on the chair, perfectly at ease, and eats his food with his hands voraciously, while the son is properly seated and eats slowly. He is just wearing a school uniform.

Liam (with his mouth full): You look like a moron with that uniform.

Lennon: It’s my school uniform.

Liam (sarcastically): Oh really?

Lennon: That’s it. It’s not my fault, I have to wear it.

Liam: This doesn’t help you not seeming a moron.

Lennon shrugs and keeps on eating, calmly.

Liam (approaching the child): Have you ever listened to Oasis?

Lennon looks at his father, chewing his food.

Liam: I don’t expect you have, since you seem more like a Mozart and Bach kind of bloke. But I was just wondering.

Lennon: I know some of your songs.

Liam (grinning): Did your mother sing Wonderwall to you before going to bed?

Lennon: No. But it would have certainly helped me to fall asleep.

Liam looks at his son and smiles, finally satisfied.

Liam: This is something Liam Gallagher’s son would say.

Lennon looks at his father. He seems sospicious.

Liam (taking a chip and observing it): So how old are you? Eight? Nine?

Lennon: Twelve.

Liam: Oh wow. I didn’t think so much time has passed since I’ve f… met your mother.

Lennon does not comment and bring his hamburger to his mouth.

Liam: Twelve, so. You’ve are at that age.

Liam has emphasized the word that, but Lennon frowns as he does not get it.

Lennon: Which age?

Liam: You know… the one when… well, you start thinking about girls and all.

Lennon puts down the hamburger slowly.

Lennon: I see.

Liam: I remember my first girlfriend.

Lennon: I’m not sure I want to hear this.

Liam: How so? I’m your father. I have experience. I can teach you how to get girls. It’s easier than you could expect.

Lennon: It doesn’t seem like you did a great job with my mother. She’s definitely not impressed by you.

Liam laughs and sits heavily on his chair.

Liam: You see? You really seem like a moron. The worst you can say is “she’s definitely not impressed by you”. Be more specific. She thinks you’re a fucking asshole, dad. Be more rock ‘n’ roll. Pay homage to your name.

Lennon: Did she choose it?

Liam: Of course she did. It’s a ridiculous name. I mean, Lennon Gallagher. Sounds like the name of a moron. And this leads us back to my point, that you seem like a moron, but you’re my son and therefore I’m sure you aren’t.

Lennon takes a tissue and wipes his mouth slowly.

Lennon: I have to say that the only one that seems like a moron, keeps on insulting his son the first time he meets him, curses, talks with his mouth full and looks like a hobo is you.

Liam (grinning): That’s the son I was hoping to meet.

Lennon does not comment and keeps on eating his hamburger.

Liam: If you’re mother is “definitely not impressed” by me, try to imagine how I am fucking pissed at her.

Lennon shrugs.

Lennon: I don’t know what happened. She just told me you were going to pick me up after school. And now I’m here. I don’t know anything.

Liam: She told me you need me to pay for your stupid private theatre school or some shit like that.

Lennon: It’s true.

Liam: I didn’t even know I had a son. And now I have to pay for his school. I’ve got nothing against you and of course I’ve got enough money to do it, but this does not change the fact that your mother is a bitch.

Lennon: You must talk to her on this matter.

Liam: You’re so bloody reasonable. I say your mother is a bitch and you act like a fucking diplomat.

Lennon shrugs and finishes off his hamburger. He has ketchup all over his fingers, so he tries to reach for a tissue on the table, but his father grabs the tissues and pushes them away.

Liam: Lick your own fingers like a fucking man would do and don’t try to fool me with this shit. Your mother brought you up as a pussy and if you want me to pay for your bloody theatre school or whatever it is, things need to change.

Lennon looks at his father, than licks quickly the ketchup away from his fingers.

Liam: Good. Tell your mother I taught you to do it, next time.

Lennon: I won’t.

Liam: You will. Next lunch we have together, I’ll teach you how to burp properly.

Lennon: I know how to burp.

Liam (getting up): This is a good starting point. Now I need to have a piss.

Lennon looks him as he goes to the toilet. Then grabs a tissue and wipes his fingers.




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